Because I Have Been Given Much...

Today I woke up not in the best of moods. The thought occurred to me that this last month I haven’t been in the best of moods...sorry. I wasn’t trilled to go to church, but like a good girl I went, and I am so glad I did. Fast and Testimony meetings are the best. It's a wonderful time to hear of others testimonies and to reflect on your own. I tried to remember the last time I bore my testimony and I couldn’t remember…I knew it was in Rexburg and that was about it. I didn’t get/take the opportunity to bare mine but I thought very hard at where my testimony stood. Many thoughts were going through my head, like how I know this gospel is true, I know the scriptures are true; I do know it! But then, as it usually happens with me, I thought about pray and thought, “Does it really work for me?” As with everyone else, my life has not been all sunny and happy, it fact it has been very difficult. Many times I have knelt in prayer asking for help, for blessings, and guidance, and while I know the Lord has helped me and guided me, I seem to think of all the prayers that haven’t been answered. I sometimes seem to dwell on the negative things in my life and forget about all the many blessings I have been given. This past month I have felt like I was being punished for something, or that I'm just not good enough to receive blessings, and I’ve struggled in the knowing that Heavenly Father and Jesus love me.

All these thoughts were going through my head, then towards the end of the meeting a young boy, about 11, got up to bare his testimony. He was scared to death. He kept shaking and under his breath he even said, “I’m so nervous”. He went on to say he was a foster child and has been through a bunch of foster homes and is now living with a family in my parent’s ward. He talked about how when he was 6 years old he was staying with an LDS family. At that young of age he could tell something was special in that family and loved to go to church. His testimony was short and hard to understand through his nervousness but he knew the gospel made his life better. This young boy started me on a different wave of thoughts; I began to count my blessings. The closing song was “Because I Have Been Given Much.”

My senior year in high school I had the opportunity to be a Seminary President. One of the girls in my class lost her father during the school year and it was my responsibility to do something for her. I didn’t really know exactly what to do because at that point I had never lost someone in my life. The only thing I could think of was to get a card, have the whole class sign it and take that card along with some flowers to her. The weeks past and finally she returned to school. My seminary teacher decided one day, instead of having a lesson that we were going to share our favorite hymns and sing them. Towards the end, the girl who lost her father volunteered her favorite song, “Because I Have Been Given Much.” She told us she loved this song because it was her dad’s favorite song. She began to cry and the whole class began to cry. She continued saying that her father could always find the joy in things and always thought he was truly blessed. The girl then said that she too was very blessed; she had the gospel, a family that loved her, and a wonderful father who she will be with again someday.

I remembered that story and thought to myself, I am indeed truly blessed. I have the gospel in my life. I was raised and taught by parents and family members that truly love me. I have wonderful friends who build me up and keep me laughing. I have an old family and a new family who teach me through their words and actions how I should be. I have my health (even though it has gone down since I got married…I’m allergic to marriage), I have an education and I’m not in too much debt because of it:). I have had the opportunity to travel the world and see this beautiful place that God has created. I have a husband who is a way better person than me, and who has faith that is unwavering. He never lets the woes of the world get him down. He has such faith and knowledge of the Lord’s plan that he knows for a fact that everything will be ok. In fact his most used line is “every little thing is going to be alright.” I hope one day I can have that much faith but I am thankful he pulls me along and keeps me going. I have a Heavenly Father and a Savoir who do love me and do watch over me. Someone suffered for me so that I could repent and return to be with Him and my Heavenly Father. They are with me through everything and I need to not forget that. I may not know why things happen or what will happen in my life but the Lord does and I need to follow Him and put full trust in Him. I am indeed blessed and I am thankful for all of my blessings and the opportunity the Lord gives me to grow. Happy Fast Sunday!:)